Kristen is back with Product Testing Tuesday (or Torture Tuesday if you’re one of her adoring fans that has witnessed the misadventures.) Today’s mission: Remove the Kristen Hampton top stache with a product called “Tweezerman.” The top stache is the nemesis of many a Southern woman, and she’s ready to annihilate it.
Don’t know what a Tweezerman is? Neither did we. Don’t worry, Kristen will catch you up. “Look what I got! This thing is is supposed to rip out your top stache and your side stache and your bottom stache. It’s supposed to be a legitimate product, but we’re going to see how it works!” The sweet optimism of this moment lasted but a moment. Upon further inspection, it looks like a nunchuck. You know, for if you need to “martial arts” your top stache.
It even comes with a free “tweezerette.”
What it did not come with, though, is directions. Because “TweezerMAN.” She began to realize what she was in for while looking at the box and reading “grabs hair from the root to minimize regrowth.”
After reading some comments and com brief experimentation, she inadvertently grabbed a hair, quickly jumping back in pain. A little more knowledgeable but gun shy from the surprise pinch, she takes a moment to collect herself. “I figured out how to do it, and now I don’t want to do it, because I did it one time and it hurt real bad. You get this up there, you put it up there and then you spin these things… What kind of barbarian device is this?! Why don’t you just wax it?
We’re not sure, Kristen, but we’re definitely asking the same question.
The procrastination continues. “It’s almost like stabbing yourself. HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO STAB YOURSELF!? I imagine it would be difficult because you have to stab yourself.”
She finally builds up the courage, laughing alongside her commenters. “Dina thank you, I don’t have to do this, you’re right. You know what, I don’t, but I’m gonna do it!” Maniacal laughter follows, and she screws up some courage.
The result was too patchy for Kristen’s liking, so she persevered. The struggle was real, and we dare you to watch without wincing along with her. A solid 15 minutes of pain left her injured, and a lot less optimistic than she was at the beginning of the video.
Ultimately, it was just too much for her. “I don’t want to be pretty that bad. I’m pretty just like I am. I’m pretty with my top stache. I’m pretty with my lady goatee. I’m pretty without this. These nunchucks of death.”
It’s hard to watch, and you can almost hear the sounds she’s describing. “If you’re just joining us, this is the Tweezerman torture device. Made by the people that make tweezers. I’m sweating real bad, because it has made me hot, because it hurts so bad.”
It is at this point that the windows go down, and she abandons the device to offer a “flashlight” to her mom’s friend Evelyn. Unable to find a flashlight, she pulls up a romance novel and the conversation spirals into frisky grandma territory. She finally gets called out for “avoiding her top stache,” which she immediately admits to. One more quick attempt, and she gives up.
“It leaves some burning/stinging sensation on your face, and I’m just going to give it away. I’ll probably clean it off first.”
We hope so, Kristen. Leave the “Tweezerman top stache nunchuck ripper for your face” behind, and take care of that lip. #healedwithhappiness
Catch all the shenanigans on her Facebook page: